[redacted]

ADDED: Thanks for the comment, Ella.

Some posts are like mayflies, destined only for a brief existence.

posted by Nicholas @ 9:51 PM 8 comments

Briefly Noted

A Leaf Pressed Dry is a lovely blog written by a lovely person who once described me - memorably and uniquely - as "sweet".

Also worth mentioning is that Mellipop has resumed writing her blog, after an extended absence.

In self-aggrandising news, there are two (two!) teenagers with myspace profiles who list "Suburban Aliens" as one of their favourite books.

posted by Nicholas @ 3:43 PM 0 comments

Burny and awful

Question: what ersatz experience resembles slowly dissolving a teaspoon of stale supermarket pepper, mint, and nutrasweet on your tongue for fifteen minutes in search of a fix that's about as exciting as rubbing your feet on carpet and touching metal? If you answered, "Ohmygod, Nicobate CQ 4mg lozenges, those things are foul," you have my empathy. For god's sake, no cigarette ever tasted this bad. Haven't had a cigarette in about six hours now. I'd like one, but I'm not going to murder anybody over it. As I thought, I can handle the psychological withdrawl alright, as long as I can still get a nicotine fix. But what's the point? I'm still addicted to nicotine, and a big part of me thinks if I have to cut back gradually in order to quit, I might as well do it with cigarettes, which I at least enjoy. Why do these things have to taste so burn-y? My idea, before I started on these things, was that it was probably better, or at least healthier, to be addicted to lozenges. But if I have to be addicted to something, I'm going back to cigarettes.

They come with some fairly ridiculous instructions: "One lozenge should be placed in the mouth and allowed to dissolve for best effect. Periodically, the lozenge should be moved from one side of the mouth to the other until the lozenge is completely dissolved." Christ, if I managed to work out cigarettes on my own, I think I can cope with sucking a lozenge without help.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. I have enough lozenges for about a week - I'll try, at least, to stick with them for that long. My lungs need a break. It is fairly clear at this point that I probably don't have the Allan Carr/Boy Scout spirit that is required to properly quit, but we'll see what happens.

posted by Nicholas @ 10:42 PM 17 comments

The sad tale of the cricket who was a belle and sebastian fan, and other stories

I'm certainly not interested in talking about my life at the moment - I'm in the middle of a major disapointment, but it's not that I've had bad luck, more that a piece of extraordinarily good luck, which I had a lot of reason to expect would eventuate, now appears unlikely - and that's a tale gains you little sympathy. So, instead, I'll tell the sad tale of the cricket who was a Belle and Sebastian fan.

Anyway, last summer a cricket took up residence in the bookshop, behind a bookshelf. And we would hear it merrily cherping away in its search for a mate. This was sometimes amusing, mostly irritating. But summer past, and we heard no more from the cricket - I presumed it had died.

But it had not. Clearly the cricket was no genius - searching for a partner in a bookstore is hopeless (I could have told it that). But it was still there. It was saving its strength throughout a long winter for one final effort.

And today it started chirping again. And I was suprised, and a little happy - the cricket lived! But why had it started chirping again? Then I realised that it was chirping along at the exact pitch and rhythm of the hi-hat in the Belle and Sebastian song Dirty Dream Number 2. The cricket wanted to mate with a Belle and Sebastian song.

I have two other surreal and slightly humorous stories from today. Early in the morning the phone rang. I answered, and got this: "Hi, it's John Howard from Canberra." Turned out it was not our PM (or even the actor), but a different John Howard, wishing to order a religious biography for his brother - Ron Howard. I kid you not.

My final story is that I was just smoking outside when a dude approached me, asking for a cigarette. Unlike most, he had a spiel. He offered to swap me a cigarette for "a fantastic original poem". I proposed a compromise, which was accepted: I would give him a cigarette, as long as I didn't have to read the poem.

posted by Nicholas @ 6:23 PM 2 comments

Intermission

Yay, I have a keyboard again, my last one dying in a coffee accident (I picked the cup up by its lid and waved it casually above the keyboard as punctuation to some verbal point I was making). Haven't felt much like writing lately - my life being beset by troubles so bizarre that stating them makes me seem schizophrenic. I am being persecuted by chinese dentists who want to take my shop, for instance. Not to mention the blog stalkers leaving strange comments that hardly inspire me to type out a thousand words of intimate life-story. Anyway Bree wants me to do this quiz, and as I'm not terribly inspired at the moment, I thought I might.

Two parts of your heritage
Palestinian and a probable touch of Aborigine contribute to my somewhat alien appearance.

Two Things That Scare You
1. Disfigurement
2. Public ridicule (the same thing?)

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Cigarettes
2. Lighter

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Jeans
2. Shirt. What else is new?

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment)
I haven't made any new or interesting discoveries lately.

Two Funny or Odd Truths
1. Chinese dentists are making my life a misery. And my teeth have nothing to do with it.
2. My reach exceeds my height.

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. Neotenous foreheads
2. Pale skin

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Re-reading books.
2. Swimming.

Two Things You Want Really Badly
To have time, and inspiration, in the next twelve months.


Two Places You Want to go on Holiday (that i haven't been to before)
1. Galapagos Islands
2. Somewhere Famous Five-y.

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Write a great novel
2. Get married

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick
1. I'm scared of insects
2. I find most sports boring.

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Guy
1. I think astrology and new age generally are complete crap.
2. I don't enjoy shopping

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. Rearranging my living room
2. Whether my friend Bess has a point in saying I'm subtly homophobic because I once said that "Frodo is a fag".

Two Stores You Shop At
1. My criminal local grocery store
2. Op shops.

Well, that was boring. Apologies to anybody I owe emails to, I'll get to them soon.

posted by Nicholas @ 5:41 PM 3 comments